Brucisms - Thoughts on Life, Leadership, and The Pursuit of Happiness

photo by Dey Alexander

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.

Denis Waitley

The Happiness Project

The Happiness Project started off as a series of interviews by Alex Shalman, in which he asked people 5 questions about happiness. Alex has invited all bloggers to participate in his project by answering the same questions on their blog. Since Brucisms is focused on the pursuit of happiness, I definitely don’t want to be left out of the fun!

My thanks go out to Robert at www.reason4smile.com who’s article turned me on to Alex and The Happiness Project.

Without further fanfare - here is my interview, enjoy! (more…)

photo by Chris Schmidt

Chaos is a name for any order that produces confusion in our minds.

George Santayana (Spanish born American Philosopher, Poet and Humanist who made important contributions to aesthetics, speculative philosophy and literary criticism. 1863-1952)

The Illusion of Chaos

I was catching up on my blog reading today and came across the article Wrenching order from chaos in your life on A Miracle A Day. Jason is a thoughtful and motivating writer, and I agree with his underlying message of personal responsibility; however, I respectfully disagree with the premise of wrenching order from chaos.

Jason writes:

Order, or at least the human perception of it, doesn’t come naturally. Nature is full of chaos and random chance, not the planning and structure that our minds crave. That means that someone, at some point, has to step in and take action to change the natural course in order for that structure to be built.

On this point I have to disagree. Nature is very orderly and balanced. If it were not, life itself could not exist.

As I am writing this, my heart is regulating my blood, my lungs are regulating my breathing, neurons are firing within my brain, nerves are sending signals to my hands - all these things and millions more are working in perfect order!

Chaos is an Illusion

Imagine that you are at Union Station on a balcony looking down onto the crowds of people below you. Everyone is scurrying from one place to another in a seemingly chaotic, random fashion. But under this seeming disorder, is in fact, perfect order. Each person is going to a specific destination. It is our lack of context and perspective that colors our perception of circumstances and makes them appear chaotic.

Chaos only exists within the human mind when we cannot control the natural order of things.

Control is a lie

We feel that our circumstances are “chaotic” when we no longer have control over them. But we never have control - it is our belief that we can control nature to fulfill our own desires that brings us into disharmony with natural order. It is this disharmony that creates the chaos in our minds. But the only thing you will ever control is your decisions. And this is the wonder of life - because it is our ability to adapt to changing circumstances, to accept the ups and downs, yet still be compassionate, determined, and creative - this is what makes us uniquely human.

I for one am grateful for the “chaos” of life. If it were not for the unexpected - our life would be like a book that we’ve read the ending to. Boring and predictable.

Success lies not in our ability to “take action to control chaos” - it lies in our ability to adapt, thrive, and accept change as a wondrous gift.

That is the miracle of life.

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photo by Jeff Pearce

“The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.”

Vince Lombardi

Quality 3: Commitment; Staying the Course

To be an effective leader, you have to be committed. True commitment inspires the people around you, shows your conviction, and creates an atmosphere conducive to achievement. Although commitment means different things to different people, the true nature of commitment is always the same.

The True Nature of Commitment

Starts in the Heart

Talent is not enough. Intelligence is not enough. To achieve success takes “heart”. It’s what makes you get up when you fall, makes you jog one more lap, practice one more shot, squeeze out one more rep - it is the difference between being a leader and just making the team. People follow the person that always sees things through, no matter what adversity they face.

Tested through Adversity

True commitment withstands any adversity. That’s not to say that you won’t suffer setbacks - you will. But true commitment picks you up, and finds a way to stay the course.

The Catalyst to Achievement

True commitment creates momentum - and momentum is the difference between effective leadership and failure. It is the difference maker. Remember - the combustion temperature of wood is about 525º F (give or take given the type of wood and its water content), at 524º F you have warm soot and smoke; 1º difference and you have a crackling fire for warmth and cooking. If you like to camp in cold climates - you understand the difference maker in that 1º!

Improving Your Commitment

To improve your commitment, do the following:

Measure It

Try the following exercise:

First make a list of the top five things that you feel you are committed to.

Next - take a look at how you spend your time. How much time do you spend at work, with family, or providing service to others?

Finally - examine your bank and credit card statements. How much do you spend on entertainment, personal development, or charity?

Does the way you spend your time and money reflect the things you are committed to? This can be an eye-opening exercise!

Align It with Your Values

An effective leader can not be in conflict within. No matter how talented you may be, you can not be truly committed to a cause (work, social, or otherwise) that is in direct conflict with your personal values.

Make It Public

If you feel you have a problem with taking the first step toward commitment - make it public. Tell others what you intend to do, put out a press release - you might just find that by making your commitments public, you’ll have an easier time following through.

Recap:

The True Nature of Commitment:

• Starts in the Heart
  
• Is Tested through Adversity
  
• Is a Catalyst to Achievement
  

To Improve Your Commitment

• Measure It
  
• Align It with Your Values
  
• Make It Public

Note from Bruce: I have recently revisited John C. Maxwell’s The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader. As an exercise in personal development, I will be writing an article each week that focuses on one of these qualities until I have addressed all 21.

If you want to make sure that you don’t miss an article, Subscribe to Brucisms!

photo of Martin Luther King, Jr.; public domain

Quality 2: Charisma; Drawing People to You

What is it about great leaders that not only gets people to stop and listen, but to take action? Charisma. Those who have it brandish it with ease. Those who don’t think of it as some kind of gift, a mysterious - almost magical power. But charisma is not a birthright, nor is it a dark art; it is an ability that can be learned.

Charisma, plainly stated, is the ability to draw people to you. And like other character traits, it can be developed. John Maxwell in The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader

So how do you develop it?

Have Zest for Life

If you have zest and enthusiasm you attract zest and enthusiasm. Life does give back in kind. Norman Vincent Peale

People are attracted to people who are happy, excited, energetic, and enthusiastic. No one will follow a cynic. Stay positive, upbeat, confident and genuine - and people will listen and follow.

Make People Feel Great About Themselves

When I left the dining room after sitting next to Mr. Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But after sitting next to Mr. Disraeli, I thought I was the cleverest woman in England. A woman when asked her impression of the two English statesmen Benjamin Disraeli and William Gladstone after dining with them.

There is nothing more magnetic than someone who makes you feel great! Be genuinely interested in people, use their name, listen to them; you’ll have a following in no time.

Help Them See the Oak Tree

The task of leadership is not to put greatness into people, but to elicit it, for the greatness is there already. John Buchan

There are two things that are true of most people. They will almost always deliver what is expected of them, and they do not expect enough of themselves. If you expect more from those around you and help them see their potential, you will enrich your life and the lives of those you lead.

Share Yourself

You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. Kahlil Gibran

People love leaders who share themselves and their life journeys. Share your wisdom, your resources, even your special occasions. Think about how you can add value to people’s lives and then share your journey with them.

Recap:

• Have zest for life
• Make people feel great about themselves
• Help them see the oak tree
• Share yourself

For more ways to build your charisma make sure to read Tina’s practical advice in 8 Keys to Instant Charisma at Think Simple Now.

Note from Bruce: I have recently revisited John C. Maxwell’s The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader. As an exercise in personal development, I will be writing an article each week that focuses on one of these qualities until I have addressed all 21.

If you want to make sure that you don’t miss an article, Subscribe to Brucisms!

I’ve been tinkering with the site a bit. Adding a little here, taking away a little there. Playing with some widgets and plugins. I thought I’d take a moment to share some of my “tinkerings”.

Firefox

I’ve joined the “Spread Firefox” community. After using Firefox on my Mac for about a year, I’ve been impressed with it’s ease of use. So I’ve added a link in the sidebar to spread the word about this great browser. You can download it yourself from there. While Mozilla does have an affiliate program, I’ve decided that they wouldn’t be an appropriate sponsor for this site - but wanted to share my opinion of this great product with my readers, and provide an easy way to download it. (more…)

photo by Ben Mains

“I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them”

Thomas Jefferson

photo by Brian Wright

Daily Inspiration: Henry David Thoreau

Low-Anchored Cloud

Low-anchored cloud,

Newfoundland air,

Fountain-head and source of rivers,

Dew-cloth, dream-drapery,

And napkin spread by fays;

Drifting meadow of the air,

Where bloom the daisied banks and violets,

And in whose fenny labyrinth

The bittern booms and heron wades;

Spirit of lakes and seas and rivers,

Bear only perfumes and the scent

Of healing herbs to just men’s fields!

Henry David Thoreau

photo by Dey Alexander

Daily Inspiration: Carl Sandburg

Happiness

I asked the professors who teach the meaning of life to tell me what is happiness.

And I went to famous executives who boss the work of thousands of men.

They all shook their heads and gave me a smile as though I was trying to fool with them

And then one Sunday afternoon I wandered out along the Desplaines river

And I saw a crowd of Hungarians under the trees with their women and children and a keg of beer and an accordion.

Carl Sandburg

photo by Piotr Pedziszewski

Daily Wisdom: Robert Frost

BIRCHES

WHEN I see birches bend to left and right

Across the line of straighter darker trees,

I like to think some boy’s been swinging them.

But swinging doesn’t bend them down to stay.

Ice-storms do that. Often you must have seen them

Loaded with ice a sunny winter morning

After a rain. They click upon themselves

As the breeze rises, and turn many-colored

As the stir cracks and crazes their enamel.

Soon the sun’s warmth makes them shed crystal shells

Shattering and avalanching on the snow-crust—

Such heaps of broken glass to sweep away

You’d think the inner dome of heaven had fallen.

They are dragged to the withered bracken by the load,

And they seem not to break; though once they are bowed

So low for long, they never right themselves:

You may see their trunks arching in the woods

Years afterwards, trailing their leaves on the ground

Like girls on hands and knees that throw their hair

Before them over their heads to dry in the sun.

But I was going to say when Truth broke in

With all her matter-of-fact about the ice-storm

I should prefer to have some boy bend them

As he went out and in to fetch the cows—

Some boy too far from town to learn baseball,

Whose only play was what he found himself,

Summer or winter, and could play alone.

One by one he subdued his father’s trees

By riding them down over and over again

Until he took the stiffness out of them,

And not one but hung limp, not one was left

For him to conquer. He learned all there was

To learn about not launching out too soon

And so not carrying the tree away

Clear to the ground. He always kept his poise

To the top branches, climbing carefully

With the same pains you use to fill a cup

Up to the brim, and even above the brim.

Then he flung outward, feet first, with a swish,

Kicking his way down through the air to the ground.

So was I once myself a swinger of birches;

And so I dream of going back to be.

It’s when I’m weary of considerations,

And life is too much like a pathless wood

Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs

Broken across it, and one eye is weeping

From a twig’s having lashed across it open.

I’d like to get away from earth awhile

And then come back to it and begin over.

May no fate wilfully misunderstand me

And half grant what I wish and snatch me away

Not to return. Earth’s the right place for love:

I don’t know where it’s likely to go better.

I’d like to go by climbing a birch tree,

And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk

Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more,

But dipped its top and set me down again.

That would be good both going and coming back.

One could do worse than be a swinger of birches

Robert Frost

photo by Denise O’brien

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist, philosopher and poet (1803-1882)

Quality 1: Character; Invest in Your Integrity Bank Today!

In The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader, John C. Maxwell says that:

“Talent is a gift; but character is a choice… In fact we create it every time we make choices - to cop out or dig out of a hard situation, to bend the truth or stand under the weight of it, to take the easy money or pay the price. As you live your life and make choices today, you are continuing to create your character.”

In fact building your character is like investing in your integrity. Every time you make a choice that lives up to your values - you make a deposit into your Integrity Bank; and every time you make a choice that shortcuts your values - you make a withdrawal. The more deposits you make, the more interest you earn - and the more likely you are to make choices with integrity in the future. Conversely, the more withdrawals you make, the more likely you are to shortcut your integrity in the future - and eventually will become morally bankrupt.

Here is a simple way that you can take steps today to make deposits into your Integrity Bank:

First, make a short list of values that you would like to work on. This could be anything - compassion, love of family, servitude, courage - anything you feel you may be lacking. Next, make a conscious decision to do one thing today that demonstrates one of those values. Read a story to your child, take a walk with your significant other, cross the street to give a homeless person a couple of dollars rather than avoiding them. Very soon, you will have a rock solid foundation of integrity steeled with the iron will of conviction. Try it - you’ll be amazed at the results!

Note from Bruce: I have recently revisited John C. Maxwell’s The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader. As an exercise in personal development, I will be writing an article each week that focuses on one of these qualities until I have addressed all 21.

If you want to make sure that you don’t miss an article, Subscribe to Brucisms!