photo by iphoto
If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder, he needs the companionship of at least one adult who can share it, rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in.
Rachel Carson
5 Little Things - To Connect With Your Kids
Parenting is tough business today. Our kids are on information overload. Between iPods, cell phones, the Internet, 275+ channels of cable tv… oh yeah, and girlfriends, boyfriends, sports, first jobs, cars, teenage social trauma, and the fact that we know absolutely nothing about what goes on in the world today (I know - because my girls let me know that nearly every day!); how is a parent supposed to parent anymore?
I’m not Dr. Phil or any kind of parenting expert. I’ve made (and make) the same mistakes most father’s have. But I do have 5 daughters. Only two are still at home, the 13 yr old superjock Katie; and the 18 yr old social queen and self-appointed expert on all I don’t know, Jessica. It is still a challenge to connect - but here are 5 Little Things to help.
Eat dinner together at the table - If you take away the iPods, cell phones, tv, and video games for an hour and sit at a table around some food, guess what happens? Your kids talk to you! In my house it’s impossible to try this every day - but at least once a week, try to have a “sit down” meal as a family. If it’s too hard to manage at home, or if you have a hard time getting your teenager to “fit you in” - then take the family out to a sit down dinner. (Even the 18 year old won’t pass up a free meal at a restaurant)
Read a story - This has always been a “tried and true” way to connect with younger kids, but it can work with teenagers too, as long as it’s on their terms. Be prepared - you may be in for the latest gossip in “Teen People” or the newest fad in “Seventeen”! I’ll admit, I don’t do this often enough, but I think my girls appreciate the effort when I do. They’ve even rewarded me by sitting down with me to watch a ball game - well for a few minutes anyway (and I appreciated their effort, too).
Play a game of checkers - Kids 5 to 55 can play checkers. It’s great one on one time. Let your kids take the lead in the conversation and you’ll be amazed at the things that they will share. Want to connect as a family? Try a game night. My family does best with “Trivial Pursuit” or “Mad Gabs” - but any game can work.
Volunteer together - The greatest gift you can give to your children is the gift of giving. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, a homeless shelter, or a Boys & Girls Club. Volunteer for a community clean up of a public park or wilderness area. Not only will you connect with your child - but you will give them a different perspective on life, and the gift of providing a service to others.
Get outside! - Go to the beach. Take a hike. Paddle a canoe. Let your kids see that there is a big world out there beyond the tv - a world full of beautiful wonders that we are all connected to.
It’s easy to fall into a routine of reruns and dinner on the sofa. It’s easy to let your teenagers cocoon themselves in their rooms on the phone, listening to music and updating their “MySpace” (all at the same time). But if you make the effort to connect, they will meet you half way - and the rewards are far greater than the effort.
Join the movement and take the 5 Little Things Challenge!
And make sure you don’t miss any updates on The 5 Little Things Challenge by subscribing to Brucisms now!
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April 11th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.
Stacey Derbinshire
April 11th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
I’m reading “The Little Prince” to my 7 yr old daughter for the very first time.
April 12th, 2008 at 4:25 am
It’s amazing that you can cope with 5. I have 2 young kids, whom I spent half of my waking hours with.
I like to encourage creativity. Here are some ideas, to add to your list:
1. Stage plays together. Great for dressing up for role playing and building confidence.
2. Paint together. They learn much faster when they can see their parent paint as well.
3. Tell a story together. I will start a story which I will make up on the spur of the moment and my daugther will continue with the remainder.
I cannot resist sharing about my all time favorite activity: snuggling up with them in bed every once in a while. I guess you can’t do this if they are all grown up. Best is to do this while they are still young and cuddly!!
Evelyn
April 12th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Dr Phil can I make another suggestion please?
No matter how tired you are or what went wrong at work make sure that you leave that in the car when you get home from work. That first 4 or 5 minutes is crucial. If your kids ever start to link you getting home from work and being in bad mood to seeing them, you’re in trouble. Of course after the 5 minutes are up all bets are off and you can be as miserable as sin
April 13th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Bruce,
This is an excellent article. I’ve written an article titled “10 Pillar s of success” in which I’ve given you a link for this great cause of yours. Please visit if time allows.
http://www.successsoul.com/2008/04/10/10-pillars-of-successful-youth/
Shilpan
May 24th, 2008 at 4:15 am
Thanks for writing about this! I am amazed at how little time most parents actually spend with their kids - it’s scary!!
We are a family who travels together on bikes - so we are together 24/7. It’s such a wonderful experience being out traveling together with our kids - and seeing the world through their eyes.
We are now getting ready to ride our bikes from Alaska to Argentina. We figure the journey will take about 2 1/2 years - the thing I’m most looking forward to is being with my boys all day long every day!!
You can read about our journey at http://www.familyonbikes.org