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5 Little Things (that make a BIG difference)
This article is not about making you more money, or making you more productive. In fact, it isn’t about changing what you want, what you have, or what you can achieve at all.
It’s more important than that.
It’s about changing who you are.
I know, that’s a big statement. But stay with me, keep reading…
The Star Thrower (by Loren Eiseley)
One day, a man was walking along the shore. As he looked down the beach, he saw a young person reaching down to the sand, picking up something and very gently throwing it back into the sea. As he got closer, he called out, “Good morning! What are you doing?”
The young person paused, looked up and replied, “Throwing starfish into the sea.”
“Why are you throwing starfish into the sea?” he asked.
“The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them in they’ll die.”
“But, don’t you realize that there are miles of beach here and starfish all along it. You can’t possibly make a difference!”
The young person listened politely. Then knelt down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves and said, “Made a difference to this one.”
5 Little Things
Write Down Your Intentions - Take out a blank piece of paper. Think of a change you’d like to happen in your life - it can be something positive that you’d like to enter your life, or maybe something that has been troubling you. Now write it down. Visualize what your life will be like once this change has happened. How will you feel? How will others feel about you? What will be different. Burn that image in your mind. Got it? Now fold the paper in half, and then fold it in half again. Take a book off your bookshelf and tuck the paper inside. But the book back on the shelf. Now, let it go - and let life take care of the details for you.
Commit a Random Act of Kindness - I like to call this a “drive-thru drive-by act of kindness” The next time you are at a toll booth, or at the Starbuck’s drive-thru, or a fast food drive-thru - pay for the car behind you. Be creative with this one - the only rule is that the gift has to be anonymous, and it has to be for a complete stranger.
Write a Poem - You heard me. Write a poem for somebody you love. I don’t care if it’s corny. If it’s long, short, good, bad. Doesn’t matter. Remember when you were 5 and in Kindergarten? You cut out that big red heart in construction paper and wrote that poem for your mom with a big fat crayon for Valentine’s Day. “Rozes are red, violits ar blue…” Remember the look in your mom’s eyes when you gave it to her, how they twinkled, and maybe teared up a little bit. How she gave you that big hug, and then she took the magnet and put it on the refrigerator and it stayed there until Mother’s Day? Remember how great you felt? Don’t you want to feel like that again?
Take a Walk - I’m not talking about exercise. I mean just a walk. But don’t walk with just your feet. Walk with you eyes, your ears, your nose. Is it cold where you are? Can you smell the woodsmoke from someone’s fireplace on the wind? Can you hear birds chirping? Squirrels scurrying around. Look at your feet, are there ants just going about their day as if you didn’t exist? Every time I take a walk I am reminded that our universe is infinitely large and infinitely small - and that in the context of the universe I am absolutely essential and insignificant. (If you don’t get that - stop thinking, and go take another walk!)
Give Somebody Flowers (for no good reason) - Everybody like to receive flowers. Yes - even us guys (but don’t ask me to admit that in public - especially in front of other guys!). So give flowers to your mom, your spouse, teacher, best friend, next door neighbor, whoever - just attach a quick little note that says something like; “You are so special to me. Thank you.”
“But, Bruce - I’m single, not dating, don’t live near family or friends and can’t think of another soul near me to give flowers to!” Well, email me - we have a lot of work to do. But you can still participate. Go to the grocery store. Pick out a small bouquet of flowers - pink or yellow are always good. Now go pay for them. Within 10 minutes of purchase, give them to either an older woman (55 to 100 works best) or a little girl (3 - 7 works best, with her parent’s permission of course). Say something corny like, “These beautiful flowers should belong to a beautiful, young lady”. I guarantee that both you and she will be all smiles and walking on air for hours! Heck - even if you do have somebody to give flowers to, this is fun! Give some to a stranger, anyway!
“OK, I’m still reading - and these things are nice and all, but are they really going to change who I am?”
The 5 Little Things Challenge
Yes. I am convinced that if you incorporate these little things into your life that they will cultivate the qualities of generosity, gratitude, charity, and cheerfulness within you - that these attributes will begin to permeate your life and create opportunities for abundance. So I’m challenging you to do one little thing each week for the next month, then come back here and share your experiences. Every Sunday in April, I will post a “Best of The 5 Little Things Challenge” and share your stories. Do you have a blog of your own? Post your experiences there and trackback or ping me - and I’ll include them in the Sunday posts.
Throw a star! Let’s make a difference - one little thing at a time.
Make sure you don’t miss any updates on The 5 Little Things Challenge by subscribing to Brucisms now!
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March 25th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
Great challenge Bruce! =)
Robert
March 25th, 2008 at 11:11 pm
I like the idea of drive-thru kindness… something very achievable that would unexpectedly brighten someone’s day.
Good suggestion.
March 25th, 2008 at 11:43 pm
@Robert - Thanks! I look forward to reading about your experiences with the challenge. You have such great enthusiasm in everything you do, so I know you’ll have fun stories to share!
@Christopher - I’ve always been a prankster, so this is my favorite too - it’s got the sneakiness of a practical joke, but with a nicer outcome.
March 26th, 2008 at 1:04 am
Hey Bruce, Nice thoughts! I occasionally try to practice random acts of kindness. They are more along the lines of letting someone go in front of me in a long checkout line. Or letting someone who is stuck in traffic change lanes. I am going to do your positive exercises. They sound neat. You have a lovely day! >^..^<
March 26th, 2008 at 3:23 am
Great article Bruce. It’s the little things that make a big difference
March 26th, 2008 at 6:12 am
I really enjoyed this article Bruce. I’m going to take you up on your challenge, I’m going to complete all 5 of these things, which are all great ideas by the way.
Thank you for starting this, the little things are what make the most difference sometimes.
March 26th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
@Veronica - I look forward to reading about your experiences! Thanks for the comments.
@Peter & Jonathan - You are both great writers, and have exceptional blogs - (for others - if you haven’t already, be sure to check them out!) I look forward to reading about your experiences with the challenge!
Just to make it easy:
Peter’s blogs are:
http://www.pickthebrain.com (he’s the editor)
http://www.iwillchangeyourlife.com (he’s the founder)
Jonathan’s blog:
http://www.jonathanmead.com
March 28th, 2008 at 11:50 pm
When I was about 16 a friend and I were given a huge amount of flowers by a florist. They were not good enough to be sold, but were still perfectly good flowers. After taking some for my friend’s mum we stood on the high street and handed out free flowers for a couple of hours. People asked how much. People refused. People accepted. People smiled. It was really amazing to do something so spontaneous and fun.
March 30th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
Absolutely inspiring! Thanks for sharing with the world.
March 31st, 2008 at 3:43 am
The story caught my attention - if it’s okay, I’d love to share it with the readers on my site as well.
As for the 5 little things challenge, indeed I’ve been doing these “little” things for a couple of years now and can personally attest to the powerful changes within me. People who knew me even a couple of years ago hardly recognize me in some cases… not because I was “bad” or mean, but just with regards to the depth I now engage the world and the increased sense of peace and compassion I embody.
Here’s a few of the “little” things that I started doing here and there, but I did them enough that now they’ve become a part of the way I live my life (so yes, I’ve done them this week)…
- I always give homeless people at the corners either money or food, without regard to who they are, how they look, or what they do with what I give them. I used to only give food to homeless people because once, I gave a homeless man some money and I watched him go buy alcohol with it.
I’ve since come to realize that I don’t feel it’s my place to judge what others do with my gifts. I give for the sake of giving without any attachment to the outcome.
Last time I did this was a couple of hours ago. I think the guy might have even been a college kid moonlighting on the corner, but either way he thanked me with a smile and appeared genuinely grateful.
- I eat extremely slowly, and by doing so, thoroughly taste and enjoy my food. A few weeks ago, it took me almost an hour to finish a single large muffin.
- Each morning I wake up without an alarm clock. This alone has had profound impacts on my state of being.
- When others ask for my time, I make it a point to stop whatever I’m doing and make time. Occasionally, I may ask for a few minutes to tie up a loose end to what I’m working on, but about 99% of the time I turn my full attention to the person who is before me.
- I ask strangers “How are you?” with genuine caringness and listen for their response. People at the checkout stands seem to enjoy this immensely, because even though I ask them the same question as the person before me asked them, they can feel the difference.
I think the list could go on and on… but it all starts with doing 1 little thing 1 time. Once we feel the impact that it has on us and those around us, that 1 little thing snowballs into 5… and 10… until eventually it’s not a little thing nor a big thing, it’s just a way of being.
And that, I believe, is what you mean when you talk about the outcome of this exercise being change.
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:15 pm
@Diane & Clouda9 - Thank you so much for your kind comments!
@Chris - You are right on point. It is too easy in a world dominate by media to forget the human touch. These little things remind us that we are all human beings, and we thrive as connected emotional beings. By all means please share it with your readers - let’s start a movement!
@Peter - Thanks for including me in your “best of March”!
Sorry to all that it took a few days to moderate comments - I’ve been away in the mountains!
Bruce
April 5th, 2008 at 8:26 am
Wow….Bruce….I am intrigued and will be looking forward to what others are going to report. It’s my first time here and I’m going to subscribe to your rss feeds!
Evelyn
April 6th, 2008 at 3:17 am
I’m trying number 1 - I just spent a good 20 minutes writing and thinking about that certain something I want. Not having this in my life has been getting me so down for so long… not just getting me down but tearing at every piece of my being.
I’m about to fold the paper and half and do my best to let go. Do you really think life will take care of the details? I usually don’t go for such things, but I’ve exhausted all other ideas..
April 6th, 2008 at 4:24 am
Connor,
The shortest answer is, “Yes.” However, what Bruce wrote in #1 is the short version of that principle. There are some very important things to keep in mind:
1) Visualizing is not enough. You have to imagine that you are living that experience, right now… in the moment. If you want more money, then FEEL what it’s like to be able to walk into the Ferrari dealership, pay cash, and walk out the door. Hear the engine roaring as you take off down the highway and feel the wind in your hair.
Or perhaps you’re wanting love. Feel what it is like to be filled with so much joy and happiness you can’t contain yourself… hear the words in your mind telling you how much you are loved and how everything is going to be alright.
2) When it comes to letting life sort out the details, there is something we have to understand. Life sorts out the details for what is right for us, to learn the lessons we need to learn, and to truly do what is best for our higher good.
Suppose a person we care about is in a coma. Most of us would “pray” that the person lives. But is that ultimately what is best for that person and the people who care about him? Maybe, maybe not.
How do we know that the person won’t come back as an invalid, and end up burdening all the friends and family who try to keep him alive but he doesn’t actually bring value to their lives?
Or how do we know whether or not he’ll die, and the people around him will heal faster and go on living their lives and doing amazing and magnificent things because of what they learned from his passing… or just because they don’t have his invalid status holding them back?
There’s a million “what ifs” and possible outcomes. It’s easy to get discouraged when we set an intention and life seems to be doing everything opposite that intention.
It’s in those toughest times of doubt that it is important for us to have the most faith… to truly believe that what is for our greatest good will happen.
I’ve learned a lot of tough lessons in life, but one thing has always held true — if I set an intention, a truly heartfelt intention, then it has always become a reality. It didn’t always happen when I wanted it to happen… sometimes I said, “I want this thing to happen within 1 year” and when it didn’t happen at 1 year I was disappointed… but then when it happend at 3 or 5 years I was able to look back and see — if it had happened at 1 year, I wouldn’t have benefited from it nearly as much as when it happend 3 or 5 years later.
So part of setting that intention and then letting things sort themselves out, also requires having the patience to accept that it will work itself out — when it’s supposed to — not necessarily when we want it to.
Chris
http://www.Spiritual-Short-Stories.com
April 6th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Bruce,
You are awesome. You won’t believe this but I realized that I had a chance to make a difference yesterday. I was at the check-out counter at the local grocery store. Couple behind me was talking about damage to their home during recent storms. I did not know how much was their grocery bill but I paid $50 to the cashier and ask him to credit to their bill and walked away. After reading your article, I am feeling great about making difference for one starfish.
I have a blog and I will add your story and request stories from others.
Thanks again from the bottom of my heart,
Shilpan
April 6th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
@Connor - Hang in there, and keep emailing if it helps. Sometimes the hardest part is reaching out and letting go. I believe you will find that once you’ve taken that step - life has a way of giving you an unlimited amount of support. Stay with us - there are a lot of great people here that can and will help.
@Chris - Good advice, and yes the power of intention cannot be boiled down to one paragraph. Taking a first step of releasing your attachment and letting go of the details; however, can be a powerful exercise.
@Shilpan - Thanks for sharing your story. You really capture the true point of the exercise. When we give unconditionally - we really are the true benefactors!
Keep them coming everyone! We can really make a difference!
April 6th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Bruce -
“Can be”? I probably should have said in my comment that *if* a person only did exactly the little bit you prescribed, but truly did it to a T, then it would work every time.
My elaboration is more because people want to understand the hows and whys, or they need extra confidence in the process because it’s new.
But if somebody were to only follow what you’ve written, but to do it with all their heart and attention, it would not be just “powerful,” it would change their entire life!
Such is our challenge of words. We can write in 1 sentence something that could change the lives of millions, yet it takes entire books or volumes of books to help them understand and actually believe what is written in the 1 sentence.
April 19th, 2008 at 11:00 am
Nice.
I do these sorts all the time. It’s what I call ‘Playing Hero.’
There’s a lot more than 5 little things though. 5 things is a good place to start though.
April 29th, 2008 at 3:09 am
Wondering what I was thinking… I guess I mistakenly put ’simple’ instead of ‘little’. LOL, anyway that was great project Bruce!
Thanks,
Robert